I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
handjob tips. give me some.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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