He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
