Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hippo gnu deer
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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