i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
