Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
