No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
