Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
