my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
