My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
