I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
