how hairy? two words: wookie tits
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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