please come you make the beer taste better
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
