the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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