seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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