im drinking this country out of the recession.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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