So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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