just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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