so explain again why im purple
no
Welp...herpes.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
