Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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