I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
