What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
