We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
