everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
