I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
