She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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