The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
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