you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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