we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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