what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im holly from the hills drunk
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
