Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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