um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
