I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
