I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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