i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Are my feet made of real feet?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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