I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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