I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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