my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
