I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
They took my balls.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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