I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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