Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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