Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
