Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
