It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize