My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
bring money and cleavage
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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