Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
