Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize