I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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