how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
