i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
