nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
