Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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