He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
