He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
