I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
