It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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