my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
