Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
