He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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