There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Non-Jews are for practice
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
