Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
